Saturday, May 12, 2018

it's over now

and I hoped that I would have been smarter,
more diligent,
and sleep enough to be virtuous
with ease.

I would have hoped papers to have been written
with strong theses
impeccable internal coherency,
logical argument,
and inner necessity.

I would have imagined that I could
keep my room tidy,
dishes washed,
and my notes neat.

Laundry lives mostly draped on drawers,
couches (!), the table in my bathroom,
and my bed.

In the thick of things,
it’s easy to let things slide
like manicures,
folding laundry
and phone calls longer than 10 minutes.

I could not have ever have imagined that I would have felt
this joy—
deeper than rusting cars,
or missing fillings,
or the vulnerability of uncertainty—
a joy sated not with the moment,
but in eternity.

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