Thursday, May 21, 2015

rules of beauty

Apologies for Being Beautiful:

If you have committed the sin of being not only not blonde
But also having frizzy, wavy hair;

Not smooth or slick,
or flowing like a L'Oreal hair commercial,
and if your skin is not tanned and golden,
smooth and flawless,
if it is very lumpy and bumpy, and full of moles and so pasty you seem like unbaked bread dough,
if you haven't even a round and interesting face,
shaped like a perfect oval,
with high, arching cheekbones providing a canvas for your perfect complexion,
if you don't have thick, dark eyebrows, and long, curling eyelashes, and bright eyes set perfectly in a symmetrical face,
if your face is all angles and lumps and a blocked pore or two,
if it grows red when you are embarrassed, and blue when you are cold.
then you must be utterly skinny;
so thin that your clothes fit like Twiggy;
so slender that even a delicate sundress hangs off of you like a man's sweater.
You must be very thin, almost invisible
then you can be beautiful.

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