Tuesday, April 7, 2015

power stances according to me

Power Stances are current big thing in pop psychology. Amy Cuddy has a TED talk dedicated to her scientifically-backed power poses. Here are a few of my own, backed less by science and more by fancy:

1. Letting dishes air dry. ("You can just let the rest sit.")
2. Hailing a cab. (Come to me, my yellow minions)
3. Letting couples do the dishes. (They can canoodle while scrubbing the cookie sheets, I can turn on Broad City)
4. Opening a tab. ("Oh keep it open" ~waves hand con largesse~)
5. Spinning in dresses with voluminous skirts. (Feeling like a bloated peony lying on the ground is the essence of power)
6. Meeting passive aggression with directness. (Let your 'yes' mean 'yes' and your 'no' mean 'no' and your "If you want to go ahead of me in line, ma'am, please do, I'm in no rush." mean just that.)
7. Taking bubble baths. (Decadence is power)
8. Balancing on the trains with no hands. (If you do it while laughing loudly and stumbling into other passengers, you are not powerful, just a teenage boy with his friends.)
9. Flipping my hair. (No explanation needed.)
10. Making kissy noises at puppies. (They won't let on, but they go crazy for it)
11. Laughing gaily. (Haters gonna hate, but I won't be able to hear them over my laugh that runs octaves up and down the scale.)
12. Wearing high heels. (Warrior shoes, I call them.)
13. Thinking about Canada. (I'm heady on power and maple syrup)
14. Winking. (It spices up normal interactions with a flair of secrecy.  
How are you? 
Oh, I'm good. ~wink~)
15. Making Eye Contact with a student just as they're about to stick gum to the computer keyboard. (Oh. Don't. You. Dare.)

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