Sunday, November 16, 2014

all in good fun

What if, we thought, we were so in love with our alma mater, that we decided to name our children after it.
Not after the University itself, because calling a child "Notre" or "Dame" just wouldn't really work.
But what about after one of our favorite buildings, we thought?
Having no other mental stimulation than a bottle of wine, and
"I'm just going to name my child Regis Philbin Black Box Theatre Mullins."


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TBH: the only thing I would enjoy more than receiving a bouquet of flowers would be receiving a giant tub of hummus.. #DEREKlife #priorities.

I love receiving flowers from men. Receiving flowers from men means that they are willing to

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Gingerbread Houses. My mother started many wonderful Christmas traditions, including, but not limited to the gingerbread-house-building tradition. It lasted for many years, until the fatal year of 2013, when our gingerbread house fell apart. A ginger-bread divided against itself cannot stand, and we became as divided as a broken gingerbread wall or fractured royal icing. We became splintered, fractured into gingerbread pieces.

Our mood was broken from the start. Our morale was about as high as a colony of groundhogs PMS-ing. We were grumpy. Moody. Desolate. Destroyed.
Ho Ho ho? more like Ho ho help.

Disgruntled siblings, upset about design choices, irate over the choices of gingerbread gables, they skulk downstairs, hurling dire and vile imprecations at the few brave siblings who continue to ice gingerbread walls.

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Shit.
Writing a director's note.
Writer's block.
What will help.
Maybe I should take a walk?
Go be inspired by nature?
Find an art gallery somewhere to explore?
Go talk to an interesting person?
Nope.
Go to Facebook.
Find a Facebook friend.
Stalk them.
Stalk the hell outta 'em.
Stalk them all the way back to grade 9.
Wow. Now you know what they looked like as sophomores in highschool.
You know what their social media personality in 11th grade was.
You know what their Facebook persona was that they tried to cultivate as sophomores.

Anyhow, Facebook stalking high school crushes is more important than responding to emails.

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