Wednesday, September 24, 2014

then he appeared to James

There is no eternal return of all things; there is only a history, happening once and for all. There is no migration of souls for which every life is only a provisional attempt open to complete revision at a later date, which in turn, for better or for worse, may be repeated. 
--Karl Rahner

She held her cheek against the smooth, cold granite that held him back from her.
She felt his heartbeat reverberate throughout the unforgiving walls.
The cold, immobile granite trembled as the steady beat of his pulse pushed against the stone walls, as gently as her own pulse flowed through the dimple of her wrist.
She could feel his heartbeat in the marble of the pillars, in the cement floor underneath her.
Heartbeat. Heartbeat. Heart. beat.
Against her cheek, the granite scratched a small red patch.
She thought of all the microscopic pieces of her skin that she had just left behind on the speckled stone. It doesn't do, she thought, to think about daily life on a microscopic level. It becomes too much detail to comprehend. She longed to feel his heartbeat against her cheek. Not through granite, but in the flesh. She felt, in the caverns beneath her feet, his movement. He shifted ever so slightly, but that slight tremor triggered a massive quake among her bones' tectonic plates.
She could barely catch her breath: she felt as though the world had turned upside down, and she was swimming in the depths of the sky. The serene cerulean atmosphere had become her swimming pool, and the ocean lapped above her, a green-y grey. The air felt light around her legs, which cut through the turquoise blue with the ease of dental floss through tiramisu. Instead of clouds, which she floated through periodically, wave caps dotted the ocean-sky above her with flecks of white. And on the horizon, far from her, she thought she could hear the surf crashing on the shores of the firmament.
She held her breath at first, not sure if the oxygen here was too thin to heartily consume.
Wary of the several thousand tons of water hanging over her, she moved gingerly, and breathed lightly, as if the slightest movement of hers would bring the water crashing down on her.
Finally, exhausted of her labors to be still, she took a great, deep breath. 
The air rushed into her lungs, then raced out again. 
Exhilarated, she took another. The air tasted different, a bit salty--like the briny air that is trapped by eddies of ocean breeze in little air pockets at the beach-- but with a touch of rosemary at the end, and a freshness and vitality, as if someone had power-washed the oxygen molecules in the dishwasher
She breathed the air in and out and in and out. She soaked it in, she drank it, and it washed out all the sea-water out of her, and she felt that she had somehow become more like the sky and less like the sea.
She dove deep into a cluster of clouds, and reemerged, lungs overflowing with air, arms stretched towards the sea. The water, perilously suspended over her, had not been disturbed by her darting and diving through the air. It continued on smoothly, undisturbed by the ruckus in the atmosphere. The ocean was not moving. It was fixed above her head to stay. She shivered in the sunlight underneath her feet, that shone out through her toes. Now, she understood there was a new life she had dived into when she dived into the air. This had never happened before,  Here she would live, with the stars beneath her feet and the fins of breaching dolphins breaking through the waves over her head. The endless expanse of sky rolled around her, and offered her an eternity of light, which to the naked eyes revealed only monotony. But as she stared into the cerulean depths, she saw within them the endless gardens of the cosmos, inviting her deeper into the sky.

On the contrary, it is ultimately because man is essentially a history, which happens once only, that sub-human nature also has a history: a beginning through creation and a definitive end in the final transfiguration of the whole of creation before God.
--Karl Rahner

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