Saturday, July 12, 2014

you and me, we both got sins

Listen and attend with the ear of your heart.
 ― Saint Benedict, The Rule of Saint Benedict

Human beings, I think, are dying to be proved wrong.
C.S. Lewis says that the Universe rings true whenever you fairly test it.
I think we are always testing the universe, because really what we want proved to us is that we are not the only thing in the Universe. We want to know (somewhere deep in our hearts, past the part that gets annoyed with people who disagree with us and who tail us on interstates) that we are not the end-all-be-all of the Universe, that the Universe is much deeper and wider than we are.
We don't want to be proved wrong because the presence of wrong delights us.
We yearn to be proved wrong, because we long for a glimmer of the Right, a small sight of a picture of the world, being done the way the world should be.

There are moments when things align too perfectly to be mere coincidence: white roses appear when requested, your thoughts merge with a friend's, and you find they are identical, words are sent to comfort you when least expected and most needed.
One of these moments came last year when I wandered into a Himalayan mountain chapel, and found written on the wall: Fiat in Fides.
Say yes in faith.
Perhaps this fiat, this yes, is the key to so many questions we have about our lives.
But this "yes" we give is not the beginning, but a response to the beginning.
The beginning is the YES. of a creator.
The beginning is a Spirit who breathed upon the formless, probably dreadfully ugly, messy chaos of the pre-creation nothingness and called forth from it beauty. A spirit who called out of the darkness of the vacuum light.
So it is with each new creation--with us.
 God looks at the mess of each of us--new creations, already fallen before we are even out of our mother's wombs--He sees who we are, and what we are, and His only response is a YES.
A giant affirmation that encompasses all the messiness of who we are--a YES. with a creative power we can only catch a whiff of as we discover what cities can be built with the human Fiat.
He has said YES. to us from the moment that we were conceived within His heart, and His Yes will never cease.
Our yes is the response to this munificence of love, this overabundance of prodigal, creative generosity.
We love because we were first loved. We fiat because we were first fiat-ed. 

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