Wednesday, April 10, 2013

find me an aspectabund judas' kiss

"Love calls forth Love"
--Fr. Edward Sorin

There is nothing more unfruitfully delightful than endlessly laughing at your own wit.
 If you've amused yourself with your own joke, you've basically achieved your goal.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you.

If you think about just how many laughs and stories the world has seen, it strikes you just how very old she must be.

The pharisees refused to take my blood money.
So I ate the thirty pieces of silver, the sickening sweetness lined my gums, filling every pore like chloroform. 
My teeth were stuck together, barely able to chew the hardening lump of saccharine sadness that threatened to choke me.
I tried to wash it down with the tears I carried in my waterskin.
But it kept catching on the lump of guilt in my throat.

You wonder how the world can manage to hold itself together, so cracked and damaged with so many sad and dangerous stories.

Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen

This is where the importance of rain comes in.
All rain, of course, is not created equally.

There is, of course, the kind of rain which really should be snow.
This is the strange, slushy waterfall of daggers that arrives in November.
There's nothing to do with this rain, except stay inside by a fireplace and a blanket.

Then there is the jubilant, fierce rain in March whose main objective is to soak your clothes straight through and to permeate everything you own with water.
When I arrived in Rome on Sunday-exactly-one-month-ago, I walked right into such a rain with all my luggage.
Some of my books are still drying.
This is the kind of rain in which you need to have friends with umbrellas, or else you become waterlogged.

Then there is the gentle rain of April nights.
This is the kind of rain that draws you out into the city by yourself, to splash in puddles and get your hair wet.
This is the kind of rain which fills the darkness with light.
It's seems to wash away all the dirty pains and uglinesses of the world.
This is the kind of rain that baptizes the world again, that heals all its wounds, that fills the cracks and scars with dazzling water droplet prisms of light.

This is the kind of rain in which it is completely appropriate and logical to fall in love.

This is the sort of Easter rain that pulls you out of the Agony in the Garden.
After you've seen things that make your heart want to bleed, just softly lift up your eyes to the cloudy night and feel the heavens kiss your face.
All you can see is rain falling on your face, but the stars aren't hidden by the clouds.
Rather, the stars have descended into the puddles on the sidewalk, the street lamps sparkling in the curtain of rain, and the lights of warm windows shining into the night.
You in fact, may already be part of a constellation, shining eternally like the stars of the heavens.
We walk amid the stars.

For everyone who does wicked things hates the light
and does not come toward the light,
so that his works might not be exposed.
But whoever lives the truth comes to the light,
so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God.

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