Tuesday, January 8, 2013

choose to chance the rapids

"What is that to you? You, follow me."
--John 21:22

My room is bare.
My bags are packed.
I am going on an adventure.

Last night, I was a veritable rainbow of emotions, sliding between terror and exhilaration, between excitement and dread.
But the winds of emotion have calmed a tad, I have taken courage, and keep telling myself over and over: I will not be afraid.

And a smile pulls at the corners of my mouth as I think of all that lies in store.
Now, all I can be is so immensely grateful for the adventure that lies at my feet.
As my friend reminded me, adventures arrive in just a series of tomorrows: just one day, one little baby step at a time. 
I am on the verge.

Wild heart, child heart, all of the world your home. 
Glad heart, mad heart, what can you do but roam? 

Haunting, taunting, that is the spell of it; 
Mocking, baulking, that is the hell of it; 
But I'll shoulder my pack in the morning, boys, 
And I'm going because I must; 
For it's so-long to all 
When you answer the call 
Of the Wan-der-lust.
--Robert William Service

As I stressed myself out trying to fit four months into two suitcases, I was interrupted from my storm of stress by so many little goodbyes and signs of love from so many beloved friends and family. 
And one-by-one, each little act of love cast out all fear.
And replaced it with the knowledge that I am not alone.
As I set out to follow my wild heart where it beckons, it's comforting to rest in the knowledge I am not alone.
To rest in the knowledge that I am--beyond all doubt--loved.
That's the real adventure.

1 comment:

  1. Have a beautiful (and safe) trip, and I hope to visit you at some point!!