Friday, December 7, 2012

most wonderful time of the year


waiting in hope for healing, goodness, and love incarnate

I stood outside by the bright lights of the stadium, as the cold December air bit at my nose and made my cheeks pink. I was warmed by the hazelnut vanilla Christmas coffee that had been given to me as a gift and by the conversations that made my soul take flight in little soars and dives of sheer, glad Joy. I spread my arms out to embrace the beautiful, mysterious world that will always be beyond my grasp.
And I thought I could never be happier.

I listened to words harmonizing with the Word like the voices harmonized with the music, and looked up at the ceiling of the Basilica, and the paintings of angels singing. 
And I thought I could never be happier.

I walked down the long sidewalk, arm-in-arm with girls I love, towards my second home, which looks like a castle and was lit up like Sleeping Beauty's palace at Disneyland, and there was Christmas music pouring out of it. And we sang and skipped, and spun in circles, because why not.
And I thought I could never be happier.

I walked into my dorm and I drank hot chocolate and fell into the arms of my big sister and started chirruping like a little chickadee and singing and eating M'n'Ms and I couldn't tell if the Christmas lights were making the world sparkle, or if I was drunk on happiness.

And what boggles my mind, makes my little heart reverberate with a terrible Joy, blended with immeasurable sorrow, is that I will continually be able to be happier. I am made for a love that never ends and a happiness that never dies.

I feel as aflame with love and a serious sort of giddy-ness, like I imagine the one little Advent candle feels--breaking through the darkness--shining and delighting in the light.

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