Thursday, November 22, 2012

the presentation of something

All the ways of the Lord are kindness and constancy
 That’s Psalm 25 (in case you were wondering).
I read that this morning and then just looked at God and I laughed.
I laughed.

Is that a joke? I said. ‘Cause if it is, that’s actually a really funny one. No, no, seriously, hold onto that one. It’ll be good for dinner parties.
But it wasn’t a joke, as I was quickly reminded. It’s not.
It’s just the truth.
Like, it’s a fact.
As in, you can’t change it.
As in, you can beat and pound and scream and kick and cry and shout, but the path anointed for you is one that is loving, kind, and constant.

I talked with my little sister today about our different paths of the past months that did not always seem surrounded in love. They sometimes seemed lonely and confusing, full of hurt and tears. But as we shared our stories today, we gasped in astonishment and sighed in compassion and chirped in agreement. We were the two friends that C.S. Lewis writes of who saw each other and cried out: "You too!? I thought I was the only one."

I often think that if the words I love you could be distilled into an action, it might be a defiant shrug. The kind of shrug that accompanies the words: “I don’t know” when actually you do know, but refuse to say. The kind of shrug that says: This is the truth. Sorry if you don’t agree: you’re going to just have to deal with it. That’s the sort of no-nonsense love that I delight in. Love that just cuts right through all the inessential exteriors right to the essential heart of the matter. Love that cuts through the pain, and finds the joy inside.

I read:
All the ways of the Lord are kindness and constancy

And I think I saw God defiantly shrug.

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