Wednesday, November 21, 2012

another story must begin

  The past couple of days and nights I have found myself reminiscing hardcore.
This is mostly because I'm heading home for Thanksgiving break, and heading home for breaks usually overwhelms me in a sea of nostalgia (and last-minute packing panic).

There is no other comparable feeling to the feeling of something ending.
 Endings and I have a love/hate relationship.

For all of high school, I marked my life with a series of openings and endings. The opening of one show usually followed closely on the heels of one show's closing.
The phases of my life --for as long as I remember--have been marked by one show after the other.
I rarely begin stories with: "In my freshman year of highschool..." instead, I say: "Between A Christmas Carol and The Wizard of Oz..."

Theatre, like all art, is temporal. It ends eventually, which is part of its sadness and its beauty.
You give your heart and soul to a story, you spend weeks and months on end with a cast, you form a community, build a set, create a world, only to dismantle it all in the ignominy of strike. The magic you created is taken apart by those who created it. Although sometimes your entire self wants to scream or cry as you watch the world you inhabited for several months turn into a pile of scrapwood and sawdust, what you eventually learn is that this is all part of the process.
A world is built, then destroyed so that something else just as big and bold and beautiful can take its place.

As I depart for Thanksgiving break, I can't help but look back at my departure from home at the beginning of the school year. And, of course, the song that wound its way around my heart and was constantly playing on the radio and in my head, and being sung in the car, on the dance floor, and in the shower.



I look back and I think of all the nights I wished my lips would fall off, or build a castle, or the nights that I didn't know what I stood for or where I stood or whether the sky was falling in. And I still wonder at the amazing things that can come from some terrible lies.

And I can't wait to turn the page and see what adventures the new chapter holds.

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