Tuesday, September 4, 2012

you are my sweetest downfall

I'm really good--maybe too good?-- at crushes.

There are several things I believe:

1) A well-prepared lady never leaves the house/her dorm room without at least one bobby-pin, a tube of Chapstick, and a brain stocked with a C.S. Lewis quote or two (the difference between being a good cocktail/dinner party guest and a brilliant cocktail/dinner party guest is a pulling out C.S. Lewis quote that merges seamlessly into the conversation. I cannot stress this enough).
2) There are few things that a good hug, a long talk, and a Youtube video or two will not cure.
3) There's something beautiful about everyone. Inside each and every person, although sometimes hidden under layers of ugly, there is a well of transcendence.

I'm good at finding the beauty in a person. (To take a phrase from my friend Brigid: it's not bragging because it's true.)  It's so easy to fall in love with someone. If you are allowed to see a person in an intimate moment, being vulnerable, just relaxing and being themselves when no one else is watching, each human is revealed to be a being inescapably and tantalizingly attractive.

Voices. People's voices melt my soul. I could listen to a raspy young woman's voice, or a young man's confident drawl for ages. A chirpy, annoying voice makes me giggle. A Southern accent makes me smile. A voice is each person's individual music--the tones, the language they use, the rhythm of their speech, their laugh are all part of the symphony of their voice.

And here is the most humbling thing about having a crush on someone: you stop thinking you’re the pièce de resistance of God’s creation. Because when you’re dying to discover whether or not a Certain Someone likes you, all of your own virtues dull in comparison with the magnificence of the other person. As you bask in the glory of their incredible beauty, you find yourself thinking: How could person as beautiful as this ever find anything in myself worthy of them?

If they happen to discover they too are enamored with you, it's for the same mysterious reason you've discovered them: not for any merits or demerits on your part or their own; 
because you’re just you—just another person, a person worth loving.
Simply because you are a human being--radiant and astounding in your humanity. Trying not to fall in love with a human being is like trying to fight gravity; you're working against nature. Humans are beings made to be fallen in love with. 

1 comment:

  1. beautiful as always. thanks, dear. I needed these words today <3