Friday, August 3, 2012

the most amazing book

One might say today's primary activity has been: riding the strugglebus. 
Oh hon.
Right then.
Unlike the other days, today has not begun with teh Paschal Mystery and several cups of teh coffee. Both are essential to starting any day correctly.

But. All is not lost. 

Today, I decided that second breakfast was going to be a chocolate fudge chocolate chip cookie dough cupcake. Stuffed inside each of these rich, fudgey beauties is a cookie dough filling.

Why yes, thank you, I invented these. Why yes, I do know I'm brilliant. And yes, I'd be willing to sell these to you. For approximately the cost of all my school books and tuition this year. Why no, you probably (like me) won't be able to afford it. 

When I find myself with a chocolate fudge chocolate chip cookie dough cupcake in one hand and a college tuition bill in the other, I realize that it was for moments like these that the phrase #YOLO was invented. 

The seester and I went on a summer picnic last night with our dear friend. Our dear friend of the heart (who forgot to take Instagram photos of our picnic last night [I think Instagram was created to take pictures of summer picnics--or other hipster foodie pics. And how much more hipster-foodie can you get than a summer picnic in the park! My chicken salad looked so good.] So it's basically like it never happened. If it's not on Instagram, it's not real. That's what they tell me anyway.) asked: "What does YOLO mean?" Thus, we opened her eyes to the beautiful, simple philosophy expressed in the phrase: You Only Live Once. It was actually a beautiful moment. Because that phrase which has essentially become the most hackneyed phrase of 2012 was fresh and new to her. Every little moment became a YOLO occasion: the moment I realized what I thought was a one way street was actually a two-way street (oh, hello, SUV driving right towards me), the moment I sped through a yellow light (whoops), and the moment that we finished off a tub of strawberries (fresh fruit is only fresh once). Those are all YOLO moments: moments when you realize that you really only do live once, so you might as well live it to the fullest (We also realized I should drive more cautiously. Otherwise we won't live long. My nine year old brother tells me I take corners too fast. I think we can safely cross-out NASCAR driver from his future careers list).

Anywhoodle, so I spent a good five minutes this morning rolling around the family room floor in agony, because I have approximately a billion books to buy. And that's a rather daunting task for me and my bank account.

And then I:
A) Realized rolling around on the floor--while a comforting and therapeutic activity--is not a high-profit endeavor, and therefore stopped.
B) Got another glass of water (Physical activity=heat. Heat=sweat. Sweat=grumpy Renée)
C) Walked past the cupcakes and decided I needed one (Physical activity=calories burned. Cupcake=calories replenished).
D) Went onto Thought Catalog. (#Yolo. Amiright?)
E) Smiled.
F) And I feel that all is now right with the world.

Comforting thought of the day: Fear not, little flock, sayeth Christ.

So I don't. Because
A) I have expressed my stressed out feelings through rolling on the floor and also by running to my mother and proclaiming: "I have no money! And will never! I cannot survive!" To which she responds: "Don't you have a job?" Being a Notre Dame tour guide can barely be thought of as a "job." So I cast her a "Girl. Please." look; but then I realize that although I'm not interning at BCG or training to be a financial advisor in New York, I'll be okay. And then I feel monumentally less stressed out.
B)After expressing said stressed-out feelings, there's really no point in dwelling on them. Best to just get on with it. So I smile. And I think of chocolate.
C) And I have ThoughtCatalog. Where else can we find articles about what your favorite Clue® murder weapon says about you, what Gabby Douglas should do after the Olympics, and why foodies have it right?
D) Also, because the musical The Book of Mormon is quite hilarious.
E) Also, because I found a website that "cat-ifies" the internet (don't ask). So naturally (I mean naturally. I'm not gonna not) I "catified" my blog:

I died laughing. My sister fails to see the humor in the situation. She's no longer a college student, so maybe she doesn't find things on the internet as funny anymore. Now that she's graduated, her view of life must be completely different. Instead of spending her money on college tuition, she now gets to spend it on beautiful things like dish sets, and car payments, and red velvet ice cream (Forget bringing home the bacon. All glory, laud and honor goes to him who brings home red velvet ice cream.)

And on that note, gentle readers, farewell. 

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