Thursday, June 7, 2012

clash and careen

Today, my dear friends, I again experienced the power of caffeine. And let me tell you, it was a joy. The only truly great thing I did with my summer at home before I came back to ND for Vision was get a massive caffeine high, and write a series of ridiculous tweets about bath towels. It was pretty pathetic. Behold:

BYOBT. Bring Your Own Bath Towel. 
Bath towels: robbing us of our dignity and robing us in soft pima cotton since the beginning of time.
A model eco-conscious lifestyle=modal bath towels. 
Jason Oliver-Nixon: a bold trailblazer/avant-garde in the fashion world. And a bath towel connoisseur.
"I use bath towels just as I use the accessories in my wardrobe. They give [me] some sizzle and style." --Jason Oliver-Nixon
Tea with the Queen this afternoon!! Dress code: Garden cocktail semiformal. Translation: Egyptian Cotton bath towel with pearls.

Really pathetic. So, after casually abusing social media, I ran around my house giggling like a child, which subsequently scared my sisters. Then, in a moment of grace and self-control I realized I was being annoying, and left the house. As the giggly high of caffeine passed away, I was left with a lot of energy and a fluttering heart rate. (But don't worry, that wore away quickly, and my two-hour walk was a wonderful work-out of that extra energy).

How did this happen? I asked myself. I drink coffee like it's my job during the school year--how did I  go so crazy over two measly cups of coffee? I remembered that at brunch that day, I'd actually consumed a lot more of our table's carafe of coffee than I'd realized at the time. And that coffee my sister had made was strong and hearty, lumberjack coffee, almost. And, after a finals week and senior week of getting all the sleep I could ever want, it had been almost a month since I'd been drinking coffee at my regular intake. My tolerance was down. I couldn't handle that amount of caffeine--I had turned lightweight.

Facing this realization, the Fool in his heart says:
I have broken my addiction!! My dependence upon coffee is gone!!

Enter today. I was fading fast in Vision class after lunch. So, I behooved myself to the break room to get free coffee. You know how in books/movies/play/other literature, etc. people describe bad coffee as dishwater? I've always thought: oh cute. That's a nice literary metaphor. But bad coffee tastes like bad coffee, guys. Sorry to be Miss Simile Police, but that's an awful analogy. I was proved wrong. That coffee tasted weird. I noticed it after my first sip. I couldn't put my finger on it right away, but then I realized: oh. It tastes soapy. Like... dishwater. Oh. 

Did I stop drinking it?
Are you kidding me?
After two sips of that delicious, magical dishwater, I was a new woman. I could talk, think, crack jokes, smile, flirt, walk, soar.

So much for breaking an addiction.

No comments:

Post a Comment