Sunday, March 4, 2012

HEY GUESS WHAT


SO.
I MADE A DISCOVERY THIS WEEK.

GUESS WHAT IT IS?

It is that

I AM ADDICTED TO COFFEE.

It finally happened. Sad, but true. My last years in high school, I would listen to my sister call home from college with horror stories of her coffee addiction: caffeine withdrawal headaches, tremors, and seven+ cups of coffee per day. I would make sympathetic clucking noises, and supplied endless streams of empathetic phrases: "oh you poor thing," "of course, you darling dear," "uh-huuhh, oh yes, I see." And vow to myself that I would never find myself in the same position.

(cue the wry chuckles)

And for the past several years, I have done myself and my family name proud, and managed to avoid addiction. I would have a cup of coffee and feel no side effects, except that my chattiness factor would increase. Coffee is my social lubricant, it's true. I had a 9:30 am call this morning for filming, and my scene partner and I arrived somewhat bleary-eyed and spare of speech. After provided with a cup of java (infinite blessings upon our darling director for her munificence and thoughtful kindness), we both magically transformed into unstoppable chatterboxes.

But then--
On Tuesday, I could hide no longer from the truth. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Or, rather, my headache that afternoon was like a ton of bricks sitting in my head.

For then--
Oh horror of horrors.
Oh joy of joys.
Oh miracle of miracles.

I filled a styrofoam cup with the nectar of life. I sipped a draught from that drink-which-nothing-greater-can-be-thought.
A magic feeling pervaded my entire being as I felt the elixir of joy flow through my veins and renew my body.
My headache disappeared.
Life seemed worth living once more.

And today, I've overdosed, and have been literally unstoppable. I can't stop moving. Must move. Must dance. Must type. Must tap out rhythm. Must sing. Must hug everyone. Must skip.
Must MOVE FOR I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY.

SO MUCH COFFEE.

I have succumbed, and this sad fact fills me with shame and remorse.

But, in the end, such trifling details and fleeting emotions are immaterial.
Because I have:
COFFEE.

An Addict's Prayer:
Dear Lord, we thank you for all these gifts that we are about to receive from thy bounty. Especially for coffee. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

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