Wednesday, November 16, 2011

raving over writing-desks

Adventures in Narcolepsy

There was one night (that'd be Sunday night, matter of fact) where I did not actually get any sleep. That was cool.
And bonus: it made Monday super exciting.
I went to my first class Monday morning. I was on time. I was awake. I was alert. It was fantastic.

And everything was downhill from there.

Seminar was mega struggs. I was awake for approximately 10.2 minutes of that class. The remaining 89.8 minutes were spent with my head bobbing up and down, wandering in and out of consciousness. When I woke up, I would cast a sheepish, apologetic smile at my professor, and attempt to listen to the conversation. See, when I say "class" I mean that there are nine of us sitting around a table talking about the books. Thus said, it's mucho difficil (aka impossible) to get away with nodding off and flying under the radar. Our prof. is, however, fresh out of school with a shiny new PhD, and he is extremely sympathetic to the student condition, and totally understands that sleep is hard to come by. I made a rousing last-ditch attempt at the end of class to end on a high note. So I pulled out a stock C.S. Lewis quote (Aside: you need at least 10 C.S. Lewis quotes at hand at all times-you'll be able to use them for anything. Literally anything. A prepared woman is a woman who has the sense to carry lip balm and safety pins in her purse, and a few Lewis quotations in her mind. A woman who lives according to these standards is invincible, unflappable, can overcome any obstacle, and nothing will ever phase her.) and made a point that related to the bits I had overheard of the conversation. Embarrassing.
That night, I was in the lobby of my dorm, flipping through my psychology book and watching Sunday in the Park with George on my computer. The next morning, I woke up in my bed, and I had absolutely no recollection of how I'd gotten there. So college, right?
The only thing I remembered was my friend talking to me in my room saying: "Do you wanna get lunch tomorrow? Okay...will you remember this in the morning?"
We were at lunch, and I casually brought up: "Wait. Were you in my room last night? And did you ask me to get lunch?"
Apparently, she heard music that "sounded like Mary Poppins" coming from the lobby, and found me fast asleep in front of my computer with the movie still playing. She woke me up, and I started babbling about the princess that was on my back, but it didn't matter, because I didn't have much homework. (I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine.) And she related to me a whole conversation that I have no recollection of. She left and then when she came back a few minutes later, I was asleep again. So, she helped me to my room, and that's how I found my way to bed. Apparently, if you get less than 5 hours of sleep for 5 consecutive nights, you start to act like you have a BAC of .08.
I may have just proved that theory.
It's been really, really windy recently. Like, you can lean into the wind and it will hold you up type windy. Like, I might get carried off to Oz by this wind type windy. So, I was carrying coffee and a poster that I didn't want to spill the coffee on. In the same hand. Because that's just how smart I am.
Naturally, to avoid being blown over by the wind, or, more importantly, having the coffee blown onto the poster, I started to so that my back was facing the wind. I walked like this for a while, and then I started noticing that people who passed me kept giving me weird looks. I couldn't figure out why, until I remembered that I was walking backwards. I guess that's not something real people do. Whoops.

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